Some days I totally feel like this

Sorry about the bad words.... 

Gotta love pintrest

Defeated

Today I was given a positive diagnosis of fibromyalgia, its hard not to feel defeated but it also i guess is a good thing it explains a lot of the problems i have been dealing with.
I feel like I should look on the bright side at least I know what it is right?
But sometimes I just don't want to I want to be upset and angry because I am so young and I'm sick of all the crap I have had to go through.
I just want to cry and be sad just for a minute. I am so angry and tired and dissapointed
fibromyalgia is such a hard diseas they don't know if I will get worse or how long I will be able to manage it. Im sure some people look at me like quit your whining, but when do I get to be upset and feel bad about some of the things that have happened. I don't care any more I just want to be sad and I do want to learn how to deal with it but for just a minute I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of people hurting me..... I just need to be sad for just a minute.

Beautiful people are made

I really liked this....

               

Figure it out

My dad looked at me today and said you are such a good mom you have it all figured out......

and I laughed my dad is sweet and always very complementary of my mothering but of anything I do NOT have it all figured out by no means. I just had to laugh.

I go day to day

hour by hour 

sometimes minute by minute

Isn't it funny how fast kids change, even just day to day. One day you think oh yeah I have this we finally got it. And the very next morning the kid wakes up with horns and a tail and you are wondering what the heck happened and stressed because you have to figure it all out again & again!

So I think I'm gonna have a naked margarita (aka virgin) and start figuring it out haha

good luck moms! 

Made me smile

Perspective

Yesterday I was shown a new perspective and I really love my husband for it I don't think he even knows how much it helped.

I had a list titled WE NEED on the fridge mostly for grocery so when we run out of something I can just hurry and write it down

I came in to put something in my we need list and noticed that Trent and changed it to the WE HAVE list

under that we have list were things like

Pretty mommy, cute kid, awesome student, man who loves us, great house, wonderful family.

I guess in a way it just changed the way I needed to look at things, instead of always focusing on things we need why not take the time to realize the things we have and are grateful for. 

I'm thinking of starting a gratitude journal just to help remind me to be thankful for the little things.

Especially be thankful for my hubby who has been more than patient with me I couldn't ask for a better man.

Disappointing...

I had to back out of a job interview today, a second job interview for a job that I would have been really good at. I was in for a knitting teacher now that might not seem like a big deal but it was to me. I have been working so hard trying to get things ready to show them tomorrow, to hard. My tendinitis has got me bad my fingers are swollen and huge I couldn't even change a diaper, even typing hurts but I'm worried if I don't write it down that I will collapse into tears. I'm so disappointed. When it came right down to it this job was to much of a risk. I would be doing to much to my hands and wouldn't be able to do anything at school and right now that has to come first.My hubby suggested its time to start listening to my body and as much as I hated to admit it I think he is right. I just hate feeling like I can't seem to get it right. I have to go see an orthopedic doctor which will be good just to see what can be done. But I would have been so good at that job its just hard not to be frustrated and disappointed in myself. I....... don't even know where to go from here this chugging along is getting old.
When does it all become worth it?